Tuesday, July 12, 2016

I'm Sorry

(1:06) I think for many of us apologizing is a difficult task. It requires acknowledging that we've done something wrong. It can be embarrassing. Sometimes, it can even be a little scary as we contemplate how admitting a mistake could impact us.

(1:00) But in most every situation, sincerely saying, "I'm sorry," makes the situation and the outcome better. The key is to actually mean it. We all know when we are simply being placated.

(0:56) Apologizing builds goodwill with the aggrieved person. Just as importantly, it allows you to understand the issue and work to rectify it for the future. My own philosophy is that I try not to make the same mistake twice - sometimes, I'm even successful...

(0:48) I recently ran across a document used by Steve Zimmerman, owner of the Zimmerman Marines boatyards, for training of his staff. It is simple, straightforward, and honest.

(0:45) Apologizing

(0:44) Why is it important to apologize?
It’s all about relationships and trust and respect. We have many relationships - with your spouse, children, co-workers, supervisors. We have an Emotional Bank Account (EBA) with each. When the other person FEELS wronged or disrespected, we make withdrawals. A sincere apology makes a deposit.

(0:35) Why are people reluctant to apologize?
Many reasons. Some people prefer denial - don’t talk about a problem and it doesn’t exist. Some can’t even admit to themselves that they made a mistake. This usually results in blaming the other person. Others think it makes them appear weak or soft. That makes us feel vulnerable.

(0:27) When is an apology necessary?
Whenever you realize that you did something that undermines a relationship, or something that will offend or disappoint someone. You might realize it on your own, or the other person might point it out to you. Either way, you have made a withdrawal from your EBA.

(0:19) How to apologize.

(0:18) 1. Get straight with yourself. Admit to yourself that you made a mistake and that this mistake had a negative impact on your relationship with this person. You must have a genuine desire to repair the damage - sincerity is far more important than technique.

(0:11) 2. Be specific about what you did - you must include a description. Do not include excuses.

(0:09) 3. Acknowledge the affect you had on the other person and any problems you created for them.

(0:07) 4. Express regret and a desire to prevent it from happening again.

(0:05) We all make mistakes. A mistake does not have to define you or your marina. But how you handle a mistake most certainly will.

(0:02) And that's the marina minute.